Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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