I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
