I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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