oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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