If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
