whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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