It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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