I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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