went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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