just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
