but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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