I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i dont even know how to be here
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i believe in u and ur pee
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
