whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
