I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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