It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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