He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
home. puking in laundry basket.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
