Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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