you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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