Porn is love you can see.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
