official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I will be naked everywhere
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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