is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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