Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
