Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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