Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
