We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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