He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
