What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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