so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Having a random hookup so left but love u
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
