Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
