I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
