Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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