If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
