why didn't you poke me back
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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