My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
