Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
