So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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