my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
