How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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