OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
