His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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