i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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