well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
soo... how was my night?
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