did you get engaged???
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
