Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
