worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
