He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
