Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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