Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We need to get me chipped asap
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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