pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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