This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
